Which is the only day you are safe in a cannibal village?
Sitterdays (when they eat the baby-sitter instead).
Who is bigger – Mrs Bigger or Mrs Bigger’s baby?
Mrs Bigger’s baby, because he’s a little Bigger.
Why are babies always gurgling with joy?
Because it’s a nappy time.
Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer?
Because he wanted frozen pop.
Why did the vampire baby stop having baby food?
He wanted something to get his teeth into.
Why did you drop the baby?
Well, Mrs Smith said he was a bonny bouncing baby, so I wanted to see if he did.
Why do we dress baby girls in pink and baby boys in blue?
Because they can’t dress themselves.
Why does a mother carry her baby?
The baby can’t carry the mother.
Why is a baby like an diamond?
Because it’s a dear little thing.
Would you rather have a baby brother or a baby sister?
I’d much rather have a jelly baby.
