Christmas jokes

Christmas jokes and humor. Find the best jokes, short jokes, party jokes, free jokes, Christmas jokes, small jokes and more online.

What do you get if you deep fry …

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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

What do you get if you deep fry …

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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

What do you give a train driver …

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What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?

Platform shoes !

What do you have in December tha…

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What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?

The letter “D” !

What does Dracula write on his C…

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What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ?

Best vicious of the season

What does Father Christmas call …

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What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes?

No-eyed-deer!

What does Father Christmas call …

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What does Father Christmas call his money ?

Iced lolly ?

What does Father Christmas suffe…

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What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?

Santa Claustrophobia !

What does Santa say when he is s…

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What does Santa say when he is sick?

OH OH NO!

What game do reindeer play in th…

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What game do reindeer play in their stalls?

Stable-tennis!

What happens to you at Christmas…

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What happens to you at Christmas ?

Yule be happy !

What is the cow’s holiday greeti…

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What is the cow’s holiday greeting?

Mooooory Christmas!

What is the difference between t…

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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

What nationality is Santa Claus?…

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What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish.

What reindeer can jump higher th…

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What reindeer can jump higher than a house?

They all can! Houses can’t jump!

What song do Father Christmas’ g…

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What song do Father Christmas’ gnomes sing to him when he comes home cold on Christmas night?

Freeze a jolly good fellow!

What was so good about he neurot…

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What was so good about he neurotic doll the girl was given for Christmas?

It was wound up already.

What was wrong with the boy’s br…

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What was wrong with the boy’s brand new toy electric train set he received for Christmas?

Forty feet of track – all straight!

What’s a ghosts favourite Christ…

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What’s a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment ?

A phantomime !

What’s a hairdressers’s favourit…

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What’s a hairdressers’s favourite Christmas song?

‘Oh comb all ye faithful’

What’s Father Christmas called w…

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What’s Father Christmas called when he takes a rest while delivering presents ?

Santa pause !

What’s fat and jolly and runs on…

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What’s fat and jolly and runs on eight wheels?

Father Christmas on roller skates!

What’s Christmas called in Engla…

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What’s Christmas called in England ?

Yule Britannia !

What’s Scrooge’s favourite Chris…

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What’s Scrooge’s favourite Christmas game?

Mean-opoly.

What’s Tarzan’s favourite Christ…

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What’s Tarzan’s favourite Christmas song?

Jungle bells.

What’s the most popular wine at …

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What’s the most popular wine at Christmas?

“I don’t like sprouts!”

Whats the best thing to put into…

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Whats the best thing to put into a Christmas cake ?

Your teeth !

Which of Santa’s reindeers needs…

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Which of Santa’s reindeers needs to mind his manners the most?

“Rude”olph

Who brings the Christmas present…

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Who brings the Christmas presents to police stations?

Santa Clues.

Who delivers presents to baby sh…

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Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas ?

Santa Jaws !

Who delievers elephants’s Christ…

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Who delievers elephants’s Christmas presents?

Elephanta Claus !

Who delievers cat’s Christmas pr…

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Who delievers cat’s Christmas presents ?

Santa Paws !

Who is never hungry at Christmas…

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Who is never hungry at Christmas ?

The turkey – he’s always stuffed !

Who made this Christmas pudding?…

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Who made this Christmas pudding?

Our chef. He’s a little green man who lives in a toadstool.What did he use to make it?

Elf-raising flour, of course.

Who sings “Love me tender”, and …

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Who sings “Love me tender”, and makes Christmas toys?

Santa’s little Elvis.

Why are Christmas trees like bad…

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Why are Christmas trees like bad knitters ?

They both drop their needles !

Why are Father Christmas’ reinde…

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Why are Father Christmas’ reindeer like a cricket match?

Because they’re both stopped by the rein.

Why couldn’t the butterfly go to…

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Why couldn’t the butterfly go to the Chistmas ball ?

It was a moth ball !

Why couldn’t the skeleton go to …

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Why couldn’t the skeleton go to the Christmas Party ?

He had no body to go with !

Why did the reindeer wear sungla…

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Why did the reindeer wear sunglasses at the beach ?

Because he didn’t want to be recognised !

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