Small Idiot and fool jokes for party

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What do you get when you cross an idiot with a watch?

A cuckoo clock.

What has eight legs and an IQ of forty?

Four guys watching a baseball game.

When a small Montana village decided to buy a new fire truck, the town council met to decide what to do with the old one. Randall, an old rancher, stood up. “Ah think we should keep the old truck,” he said.”We can use it for all them false alarms!”

Why are Canadians given only a half hour for lunch?

They don’t want to have to retrain them.

Why can’t the Philippines field an ice hockey team?

The players all drowned in spring training.

Why did Silly Sue throw her guitar away ?

Because it had a hole in the middle.

Why did Rudolfo salute the box of Cornflakes in the supermarket?

Because the label said General Foods.

Why did the Aggie call 911 in the car wash?

- He thought he saw the rotating car washer as a tornado

Why did the idiot plant nickels in his garden?

He wanted to raise some hard cash.

Why did the idiot have his sundial floodlit ?

So he could tell the time at night !

Why did the idiot drive his pickup truck over the side of the cliff?

He wanted to try out his new air brakes.

Why did the stupid boy wear a turtle neck sweater?

To hide his flea collar.

Why does the Philippines ban rectal thermometers?

They cause too much brain damage.

Wyatt, Milford and Calhoun were standing one on top of the other trying to measure a flag pole. A man passing by yelled up to them, “Why don’t you guys just take down the pole, lay it down on the ground and measure it?

” “We don’t wanna measure the length, mister!” Wyatt sneered. “We wanna measure the height!”

Young Bradley arrived at his date’s house wearing a shirt that had water dripping from it. “What’re you doin’?

” asked his girlfriend. “How come your shirt is soakin’ wet?

” “Well,” said Bradley, “it said on the label: WASH AND WEAR.”

Zack and Tybe, two Alabama farm boys, bought themselves a truckload of watermelons for a buck apiece. They sold each one for a dollar. After counting up their cash, they realized they’d wound up with the same amount of money they’d started out with. “See!” said Tybe. “Ah told yew we shoulda got a bigger truck!”

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