What’s the best thing about turn…
What’s the best thing about turning 65?
No more calls from insurance salesmen.
What’s the worst thing about hav…
What’s the worst thing about having to kiss Grandma?
When the damn coffin lid falls and hits you in the head.
When you are young, you want to …
When you are young, you want to be the master of your fate and the captain of your soul. When you are older, you will settle for being the master of your weight and the captain of your bowling team.
Why is it easy to break in to an…
Why is it easy to break in to an old man’s house?
Because his gait is broken, and his locks are few.
Worried because they hadn’t hear…
Worried because they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, “Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?
“A few minutes later, Timmy returned.”Well,” asked Mrs. Silver, “is she all right?
“”She’s fine, except that she’s angrywith you.”"With me?
” the woman exclaimed. “Whatever for?
“”She said ‘It’s none of your business how old she is,’” snickered Timmy.
Worried because they hadn’t hear…
Worried because they hadn’t heard anything for days from the widow in the neighboring apartment, Mrs. Silver said to her son, “Timmy, would you go next door and see how old Mrs. Kirkland is?
“A few minutes later, Timmy returned.”Well,” asked Mrs. Silver, “is she all right?
“”She’s fine, except that she’s angry at you.”"At me?
” the woman exclaimed. “Whatever for?
“”She said ‘It’s none of your business how old she is,’” snickered Timmy.
You have to stay in shape. My gr…
You have to stay in shape. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She’s 97 today and we don’t know where the hell she is.



