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What is the difference between the government and the Mafia?

One of them is organized.

When not in stores, Republicans shop from a catalog. Democrats watch for “incredible TV offers” on late night television.

When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was a failedexperiment headed for the ash heap of history, I knew he was ademagogue.When that fool Reagan said that the Soviet Union was an evilempire, I knew he was a dangerous kook.When that fool Reagan said that we could end the Cold War byescalating the arms race, I knew the odds favored nuclearannihilation.When the Soviet Union went broke, dissolved, and repudiatedits past, I knew it was all Gorbachev’s genius, and that fool Reaganhad nothing to do with it.Because if that fool Reagan was right all along……what kind of fool am I?

When toasting the holidays, Republicans ask for eggnog or mulled wine. Democrats ask for a “Bud.”

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

Why is Congress like a cold?

Because sometimes the ayes (eyes) have it and sometimes the no’s (nose).

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