2009 October - ninjajokes.com

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They’re willing to work peanuts!

Why are hamburgers essential to football?

Because the game is played on a griddle-iron!

Why are haunted houses so noisy in April?

That’s when the ghosts do their spring screaming!

Why are men like blenders?

You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.

Why are men like paper cups?

They’re disposable

Why are mosquitoes annoying?

Because they get under your skin.

Why are monsters huge and hairy and ugly?

-Because if they were small and round and smooth they’d be M&M’s

Why are mosquitos religious ?

They prey on you !

Why are oranges like bells?

You can peel (peal) both of them.

Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists?

The rest are hunt’n peckers.

Why are pigs such early risers?

Did you ever try to shut off a rooster?

Why are parents boring?

Because they’re groan-ups.

Why are rabbits like calculators?

They both multiply a lot.

Why are pigs such great football fans?

They’re always rooting.

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins, close the lid and leave teh key outside !

Why are rivers lazy?

Because they never get off their beds.

Why are rabbits never gold?

How would you tell them apart from goldfish?

Why are snakes hard to fool ?

They have no legs to pull !

Why are Saturday and Sunday so strong?

Because the rest are weekdays.

Why are spiders good swimmers ?

They have webbed feet !

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

Because there’s lots of school spirit!

Why are spiders like tops ?

They are always spinning !

Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

Why are teachers happy at Halloween parties?

Because there’s lots of school spirit!

Why are there no aspirin in the jungle?

The parrots eat em all (Paracetamol)

Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

Why are there so many piggy banks?

Pigs don’t like to hide their money in the mattress.

Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book?

They all have phones.

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

Why are vampire families so close?

Because blood is thicker than water.

Why are you eating a banana with the skin on?

Oh, it’s all right. I know what’s inside.

Why are women such bad drivers?

Because there is no road between the bedroom and the bathroom.

Why are vampires like false teeth?

They all come out at night.

Why aren’t burgers the least bit scared of Halloween?

They’re used to people ‘goblin’ them!

Why are you stuffing all that Easter candy into your mouth?

” “Because it doesn’t taste as good if I stuff it in my ears.”

Why are you laughing?

My dentist just pulled one of my teeth out. I don’t see much to laugh about in that. But it was the wrong one!

Why aren’t you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

Why aren’t football stadiums built in outer space?

Because there is no atmosphere!

Why aren’t burgers too good at basketball?

Too many turnovers!