Customer: This fish isn’t as good as what I ordered here last month.Waiter: That’s funny. It’s from the same fish.

Customer: Waiter, I can’t eat this meal.Waiter: Why not?

It looks all right to me.Customer: I don’t have a fork.

Customer: Waiter, I found a hair in my turtle soup.Waiter: How about that! The turtle and the hare finally got together.

Customer: Waiter, look at this chicken! It’s nothing but skin and bones.Waiter: Would you like the feathers, too?

Customer: Waiter, there’s a button in my salad.Waiter: It must have come off while the salad was dressing.

Customer: Waiter, this food is repeating on me.Waiter: Good, we love repeat business.

Customer: Waiter, this soup tastes funny. Waiter: So laugh, sir.

Customer: What is this fly doing in my alphabet soup?

Waiter: Probably learning to read.

Customer: Why does your sign say “Fine Dining”?

Waiter: We can dream, can’t we?