When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?
He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
When did Caesar reign ?
I didn’t know he reigned.Of course he did, didn’t they hail him ?
When did the criminal get smart?
When the judge threw the book at him.
When did the Gorillas start to picket the cookie factory?
The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!
When do accountants laugh out loud?
When somebody asks for a raise
When do burgers quit their jobs?
The day they decide to meat LOAF!
When do e-mails stop being in black and white?
When they are read.
When do ghosts play tricks on each other?
On April Ghoul’s Day
When do ghosts usually appear?
Just before someone screams.
When do hamburgers most enjoy watching TV?
During PRIME time!
When do men insist that women are illogical?
When a woman doesn’t agree with them.
When do rabbits have buck teeth?
When their parents won’t get them braces.
When does a bed grow longer?
At night, because two feet are added to it.
When does a dog go “moo” ?
When it is learning a new language !
When does a dog go “moo” ?
When it is learning a new language !
When does a female deer need money?
When she doesn’t have a buck.
When does a hamburger wear a look like a smile button?
When somebody says, ‘Well done’!
When does a horse talk on the phone?
Whinny wants to!
When does a person decide to become an accountant?
When he realises he doesn’t have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
When does a rabbit go exactly as fast as a train?
When it’s on the train.
When doesn’t a telephone work underwater?
When it’s wringing wet!
When fish play football, who is the captain ?
The team’s kipper !
When fish play football, who is the captain?
The team’s kipper!
When Fred was applying for a credit card, the manager of the credit card company asked him if he had much money in the bank. “I have,” said Fred. “How much?
” asked the manager. “I don’t know exactly,” said Fred, “I haven’t shaken it lately.”
When George Washington was a general, why did he like to have dogs around?
They were very helpful during the “Roverlutionary War!”
When he’s out driving, where does Dracula like to stop and eat?
The Happy Biter.
When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldn’t increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men he’d fire them.
When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.
When is a bicycle not a bicycle?
When it turns into a driveway.
When is a birthday cake like a golf ball?
When it’s been sliced.
When is a black dog not a black dog ?
When it’s a greyhound !
When is a farmer like a magician?
When he turns his cow into pasture.
When is a letter damp?
When it has postage due (dew).
