What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?
A schoolteacher says, “Spit out that toffee” and a train says, “Choo, choo.”
What’s the difference between a sick elephant and seven days ?
One is a weak one and the other one week !
What’s the difference between a sigh, a car and a monkey?
A sigh is oh, dear. A car is too dear. A monkey is you, dear.
What’s the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?
If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it’ll probably stop whining.
What’s the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?
One trains the mind, the other minds the train.
What’s the difference between a tiger and a lion ?
A tiger has the mane part missing !
What’s the difference between a vampire and a cookie?
You can’t dip a vampire in your tea.
What’s the difference between a vampire with toothache and a rainstorm?
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain.
What’s the difference between a very old, shaggy Yeti and a dead bee?
One’s a seedy beast and the other’s a deceased bee.
What’s the difference between a worm and an apple ?
Have you ever tried worm pie ?
!
What’s the difference between an African elephant and an Indian elephant ?
About 3,000 miles !
What’s the difference between an American student and an English student ?
About 3000 miles !
What’s the difference between an angler and a dunce?
One baits his hooks while the other hates his books.
What’s the difference between an elephant and a bad pupil ?
One rarely bites and the other barely writes !
What’s the difference between an elephant and a banana ?
Have you ever tried to peel an elephant ?
What’s the difference between an elephant and a gooseberry ?
A gooseberry is green !
What’s the difference between an elephant and a piece of paper ?
You can’t make a paper aeroplane out of an elephant !
What’s the difference between an injured elephant and bad weather ?
One roars with pain and the other pours with rain !
What’s the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irishfuneral?
One less drunk.
What’s the difference between an Italian mother and a Jewish mother?
An Italian mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill you.”A Jewish mother says, “If you don’t eat it, I’ll kill myself.”
What’s the difference between Frankenstein and boiled potatoes?
You can’t mash Frankenstein.
What’s the difference between ignorance and indifference?
I don’t know and I don’t care!
What’s the difference between the Easter Bunny and a silly monster ?
One’s a hare-head and the other’s an air-head!
What’s the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something.
What’s the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something.
What’s the difference between Windows 95 and a virus?
A virus does something.
What’s the difference between your finger and a hammer?
I don’t know!Well, you’re not using my computer keyboard then!
What’s the easiest way for a Gorilla hunter to make money?
Collect unemployment insurance!
What’s the fastest cake in the world?
Meriiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngue.
What’s the favorite subject of young witches at school?
Spelling.
What’s the favourite flavour of sharks?
Shark-o-late!
What’s the first thing ghosts do when they get into a car?
-They boo-kle their seatbelts
What’s the greatest birthday present?
Hard to say – but a drum takes a lot of beating.
What’s the hardest part of making monster soup?
Stirring it.
What’s the hardest part of milking a mouse ?
Getting it to fit over a bucket !
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle?
The road.
What’s the hardest thing about learning to ride a horse?
The ground!
What’s the longest piece of furniture in the school?
The multiplication table.
What’s the matter son?
The boy next door said I look just like you?
What did you say?
Nothing he’s bigger than me !
