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What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

What do you get if you deep fry Santa Claus?

Crisp Cringle.

What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

What do you get if you stuff your computer’s disk drive with herbs?

A thyme machine.

What do you get if you take your computer to an ice rink?

A slipped disk.

What do you get if you take a really big dog out for a walk ?

A Great Dane out !

What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil?

Pre-tanned leather.

What do you get when you cross a cow with a kangaroo?

A kangamoo!

What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?

A Lassie who plays brassie!

What do you get when you cross a Doberman with a bird?

A Doberman fincher!

What do you get when you cross a Cuban and a Pollock?

Ricky Retardo

What do you get when you cross a sled dog with an elephant?

A tusky!

What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape?

A retarded ape.

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?

A cock that stays up all night.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

What do you give an elephant with big feet ?

Plenty of room !

What do you give a train driver for Christmas ?

Platform shoes !

What do you have in December that you don’t have in any other month ?

The letter “D” !

What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?

Hop in.

What does a bald elephant wear for a toupee?

A sheep.

What does a cannibal call a skateboarder?

Meals on wheels.

What does a cat call a bowl of mice ?

A purrfect meal !

What does a cannibal eat with cheese?

Pickled organs.

What does a Chihuahua play basketball with?

A tennis ball!

What does a cow like to do by a campfire?

Roast Moosmallows!

What does a dentist do on a roller coaster?

…He braces himself

What does a cow ride when his car is broken?

A COW-asaki MOO-torcycle!

What does Dracula write on his Christmas cards ?

Best vicious of the season

What does Father Christmas call that reindeer with no eyes?

No-eyed-deer!

What does Father Christmas call his money ?

Iced lolly ?

What does Father Christmas suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney ?

Santa Claustrophobia !

What does KFC and a woman have in common?

Once you’re done with the breasts and the thighs, there’s still a greasy box to put your bone in.

What does Santa say when he is sick?

OH OH NO!

What does the dentist of the year get?

…A little plaque.

What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for?

“Nowledge.”

What dog always gets on everyone’s nerves?

A great pane!

What dog do other dogs go to when they are sick?

A docs-hund!

What dog do other dogs tell their problems to?

A complaint Bernard!

What dog is a cousin to the Dalmatian?

A spot-weiler!

What dog is always tired in London?

An English sleep dog.

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