Small Car and train jokes for party

Car and train jokes and humor. Find the best jokes, short jokes, party jokes, free jokes, Car and train jokes, small jokes and more online.

What do you get when you put a car and a pet together ?

Carpet !

What do you say to a one legged hitch-hiker?

Hop in.

What driver doesn’t have a license?

A screw driver.

What happens if an axe falls on your car?

You have an ax-i-dent (accident).

What happens when a frog’s car breaks down?

It gets toad away..

What is a banged-up used car?

A car in first-crash condition.

What is an autobiography?

The life story of an automobile.

What is an autograph?

A chart which shows car sales.

What is evil and ugly and goes at 125 mph?

A witch in a high speed train.

What is the best thing to take when you’re run over?

The number of the car that hit you.

What is the difference between a locomotive engineer and a teacher?

One minds the train, the other trains the mind.

What is the meaning of afford?

It’s the car most sales representatives drive.

What kind of car drives over water?

Any kind of car, if it goes over a bridge.

What kind of ears do trains have?

Engineers (engine ears).

What part of a car is the laziest?

The wheels. They are always tired.

What should a teacher take if he’s run down?

The number of the car that hit him.

What song does a car radio play?

A cartoon (car, tune).

What sort of a car has your dad got?

I can’t remember the name. I think it starts with T. Really – Ours only starts with gas.

What would you have if your car’s motor was in flames?

A fire engine.

What’s the difference between a schoolteacher and a train driver?

A schoolteacher says, “Spit out that toffee” and a train says, “Choo, choo.”

What’s the difference between a teacher and a conductor on the railroad?

One trains the mind, the other minds the train.

Whats black and white and red all over?

A nun in a car accident.

When I get real bored, I like to drive down town and get a great parking spot, then sit in my car and count how many people ask me if I’m leaving.

Where do cars get the most flat tires?

Where there is a fork in the road.

Where do ghost trains stop?

At devil crossings.

Which snakes are found on cars?

Windscreen vipers.

While driving along the back roads of a small town, two truckers came to an overpass with a sign that read CLEARANCE 11’3.”They got out and measured their rig, which was 12’4.”"What do you think?

” one asked the other.The driver looked around carefully, then shifted into first. “Not a cop in sight. Let’s take a chance!”

Who drives away all of his customers?

A taxicab driver.

Who drives away all his customers ?

A taxi driver.

Why did the car judder to a stop when it saw a ghost?

It had a nervous breakdown.

Why did the man put his car in the oven?

Because he wanted a hot rod.

Why did the stupid racing car driver make ten pit stops during the Grand Prix?

He was asking for directions.

Why did your sister refuse the gift of a Japanese car ?

Because she’d never be able to learn the language

Why do you have to wait so long for a ghost train to come along?

They only run a skeleton service.

Why is an old car like a baby playing?

Because it goes with a rattle.

Why is it not safe to doze on trains?

Because they run over sleepers.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?

They were both driving their cars at the time !

WIFE: “There’s trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor.”HUSBAND: “Water in the carburettor?

That’s ridiculous.”WIFE: “I tell you the car has water in the carburettor.”HUSBAND: “You don’t even know what a carburettor is. I’ll check it out.Where’s the car?

“WIFE: “In the pool.”

You know all that talk about backseat driving?

Well, I’ve been driving all my life and can safely say that I’ve never heard a word from the back seat. What kind of car do you drive?

A hearse!

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