Small Computer jokes for party

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Which football team to you need to connect up your computer?

Leeds.

Which kind of ink do you put in your computer’s printer?

Black, Red or Iced?

Iced Ink?

Well, yes you do, but I didn’t want to mention it.

While trying to diagnose a problem over the phone I told the user to type out his autoexec.bat file.He said it said “File not found”.I told him to do a dir.I asked him if he saw autoexec.bat listed.He said, “Well it says autoexec, then there’s some spaces, but no dot, and then it says bat.”I said type this in “type autoexec.bat”.Again he got “File not found”.I asked him to tell me exactly what he typed.He said, “I typed just what you told me: `type autoexecdotbat’.

Who holds up stagecoaches and steals laptop computers?

Click Turpin

Who sits on Cinderella’s keyboard?

Buttons.

Why all Pascal programmers ask to live in Atlantis?

Because it is below C level.

Why did the computer act crazy?

It had a screw loose.

Why did the dish and spoon hide their computer?

The cat kept fiddling with i.t.

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?

He wanted to have webbed feet.

Why did the duck stick his leg into a computer?

He wanted to have webbed feet.

Why did the school bully kick the classroom computer?

Someone told him he was supposed to boot up the system.

Why do computer teachers never get sick?

Because an apple a day keeps the doctor away.

Why do programmers always get Christmas and Halloween mixed up?

Because DEC 25 = OCT 31

Why was there a bug in the computer?

It was looking for a byte to eat.

Would you like to buy a second-hand computer?

I’m afraid not. I’m only able to type with one hand as it is.

Yeltsin, Clinton and Bill Gates were invited to have dinner with God. During dinner he told them: I need three important people to send my message out to all the people: “Tomorrow I will destroy the earth.”Yeltsin immediately called together his cabinet and told them: “I have two really bad news items for you:1) God really exists and2) Tomorrow He will destroy the earth.”Clinton called an emergency meeting of the Senate and Congress and told them: “I have good news and bad news:1) The GOOD news is that God really does exist2) The BAD news is, tomorrow He is going to destroy the earth.” Bill Gates went back to Microsoft and very happily announced: “I have two fantastic announcements:1) I am one of the three most important people on earth2) The Year 2000 problem is solved.”

You have just received the “Kentucky Virus”!!!As we ain’t got no programin’ experience, this here Virus works on the honor system.Please delete all the files on your hard drive, and manually forward this virus to everyone on your mailing list.Thanks for your cooperation.

You’re spending a lot of time at that computer screen. Have you had your eyes checked?

No, they’ve always been blue!

Young Judy, the editor of a trivia publication, was having trouble with her computer. So she called Prem, the computer guy, over to her desk. Prem clicked a couple buttons and solved the problem.As he was walking away, Judy called after him, “So, what was wrong?

“And he replied, “It was an ID ten T error.”A puzzled expression ran riot over Judy’s face. “An ID ten T error?

What’s that … in case I need to fix it again?

?

“He gave her a grin… ”Haven’t you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?

“”No,” replied Judy.”Write it down,” he said, “and I think you’ll figure it out.”(She wrote…)I D 1 0 T

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