Doctor and nurse jokes

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What do you get if you have stre…

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What do you get if you have strep throat on Friday?

Saturday Night Fever.

What is a double-blind study?Two…

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What is a double-blind study?

Two orthopaedists reading an electrocardiogram.

What kind of physician works on …

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What kind of physician works on a cruise liner?

A dry doc.

What’s the difference between a …

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What’s the difference between a general practitioner and a specialist?

One treats what you have, the other thinks you have what he treats.

What’s the difference between a …

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What’s the difference between a nurse and a nun?

A nun only serves one God.

What’s the difference between a …

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What’s the difference between a surgeon and a puppy?

If you put a puppy in a room by itself for an hour, it’ll probably stop whining.

When a car skidded on wet paveme…

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When a car skidded on wet pavement and struck a telephone pole, several bystanders ran over to help the driver. A woman was the first to reach the victim, but a man rushed in and pushed her back. “Step aside, lady,” he barked. “I’ve taken a course in first aid.” The woman watched him for a few minutes, then tapped his shoulder. “Pardon me,” she said. “But when you get to the part about calling a doctor, I’m right here.”

Why did the nurse always insist …

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Why did the nurse always insist on using the rectal thermometer to obtain temperatures?

Because nurses are taught in nursing school to always look for her patient’s best side.

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