How does an idiot call for his dog? He puts two fingers in his mouth and then shouts ... Read more

I don't know what it is that makes you stupid but whatever it is, it ... Read more

I can't understand the critics saying that only an idiot would like that television program. I really enjoyed ... Read more

I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: Many deer were being hit by cars and he ... Read more

I saw a pen in a store the other day. I picked it up and took a look at itcause it was prettier than most.The clerk said, "It's made in Germany".I said, "That's too bad, I can't use it then".The clerk said, "What's the ... Read more

I was sitting in my science class, when the teacher commented that the next day would be the shortest day of the year. My lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and clapping. I explained to her that the amount of ... Read more

Iraq has just ordered two thousand septic tanks from Russia. As soon as the Iraqis learn to drive them, they are going to invade ... Read more

IRS Agent: What's all this? Bracken: Well, you told me to bring all my records with me and I did. Here's some by Willie Nelson, Tammy Wynette, and Garth Brooks . . ... Read more

Izzard went into a Baltimore bank to cash his check. Since he didn't have an account there, the teller asked if he could identify himself. "Sure," said Izzard. "There a mirror around here?" "There's one on the wall ... Read more

Jett was trying to light a match. He struck the first one and it didn't work, so he threw it away. He struck the second match. That didn't work either, so he tossed it. Jett struck the third one and it lit up. "That's a ... Read more