Hey buddy. How late does the band play?
About half a beat behind the drummer.
Hey buddy. How late does the ban…
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Author Archives: lennart
Hillary Clinton goes to her doct…
Hillary Clinton goes to her doctor for a physical, only to find outthat she’s pregnant! She is furious. Here just became the senator ofNew York and this has happened to her. She gets Bill on the phone and immediately starts screaming: “How could you have let this happen?
With all that’s going on right now, you go and get me pregnant! Howcould you?
?
!!! I can’t believe this! I just found out I am five weeks pregnant and it is all your fault!!! Your fault!!! Well, what haveyou got to say?
?
?
“There is nothing but dead silence on the phone. She screamsagain, “Did you hear me?
?
!!” Finally she hears Bill’s very, veryquiet voice. In a barely audible whisper, he says, “Who is this?
“
Hickory hickory dock.The mouse r…
Hickory hickory dock.The mouse ran up the clockThe clock struck oneBut the rest got away with minor injuries
Hey, you just shot my wife.I’m s…
Hey, you just shot my wife.I’m so sorry, have a shot at mine !
here were these 3 Riverside City…
here were these 3 Riverside City Firemen who always went bird hunting together and they always rented ahunting dog name Rex from a local farmer. Rex was a great dog and would always hold point and find anybirds they shoot. One year they did’t go hunting and the farmer rented Rex out to some Corona City Firemenwho used him that season. The next year the Riverside guys went to rent Rex from the farmer for hunting butthe farmer had bad news for them. He told them Rex was no longer any good for hunting and didn’t have areplacement for him and to tell the Corona firemen they were not welcome there any more and that if he sawthem he would probably shoot them for what they did to Rex. The R.F.D. guys asked the farmer what theCorona boys did that could be so bad. Well the farmer said last year when they rented Rex it all started off fineuntil one of the Corona guys decided to rename him. We ll whats wrong with that they asked. The farmer saidthey renamed him CHIEF and now all he does is sit on his ass and bark all the time.
Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordha…
Higginbote and Goldstein, Fordham freshmen, were discussing what kind of work would supply mem with big bucks after graduation. “Well, I’ve always thought I’d like to be a doctor,” said Higginbote. “Specialize in something or other. Like obstetrics, maybe.” “Obstetrics?
” scoffed Goldstein. “At the rate science is going, you’d no sooner learn all about it when bingo! somebody’d find a cure for it.”
Hoot: How the hell can ya be so …
Hoot: How the hell can ya be so stupid?
Jessie: Well, it ain’t somethin’ yew can pick up overnight.
Housekeeper: Professor, there’s …
Housekeeper: Professor, there’s a bill collector at the door. I told him you were out. But he wouldn’t believe me. Professor: No?
Then I suppose I’ll have to go and tell him myself.
Horror Stories by R. U. Scared…
Horror Stories by R. U. Scared
Hotel guest: Can you give me a r…
Hotel guest: Can you give me a room and a bath, please?
Porter: I can give you a room, but you’ll have to wash yourself.