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The president got off the helicopter in front of the White House with a baby hog under each arm. The Marine guard snapped to attention, saluted, and said, "Nice pigs, sir". The president replied, "These are not pigs, ... Read more
The President is running down the street one day, and he sees a little girl who is giving away puppies that her dog just had.He goes up to the girl and says, "Little girl, I think that it's wonderful that you're doing ... Read more
The priest was preparing a man for his long day's journey into night.Whispering firmly, the priest said, "Denounce the Devil! Let him knowhow little you think of his evil!"The dying man said nothing.The priest repeated ... Read more
The problem with physicists is that they tend to cheat in order to get results.The problem with mathematicians is that they tend to work on toy problems in order to get results.The problem with program verifiers is that ... Read more
The producer of a low budget film is trying to convince the newly hired director of the quality of the work by telling him the big names they've gotten for the cast. "First of all," he tells him, "We've got Gibson in ... Read more
The programmer to his son: "Here, I brought you a new basketball.""Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's ... Read more
The proud owner of an impressive new clock was showing it off to a friend. 'This clock,' he said, 'will go for 14 days without winding.' 'Really?' replied his friend, 'And how long will it go if you do wind it ... Read more
The psychology instructor had just finished a lecture on mental health and was giving an oral test.Speaking specifically about manic depression, she asked, "How would you diagnose a patient who walks back and forth ... Read more
The Punished Schoolboy by Major ... Read more
The reason the Air Force, Army, Navy and Marines bicker amongst themselves is that they don't speak the same language. For instance, Take the simple phrase "secure the building".The Army will post guards around the ... Read more
