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Fred: Your sister uses too much make-up. Harry: Do you think so? Fred: Yes. It's so thick that if you tell her a joke, five minutes after she's stopped laughing her face is still ... Read more
Freda: Boys whisper they love me.Fred: Well, they wouldn't admit it out loud, would ... Read more
Fresh out of business school, the young man answered a wantad for an accountant. Now he was being interviewed by a verynervous man who ran a small business that he had started himself."I need someone with an accounting ... Read more
Fritz Kriesler and Rachmaninov had a recital in Carnegie Hall once. In the middle of the music, Kriesler got lost and turned around to ask Rachmaninov, "Where are we?"Rachmaninov said, "Carnegie Hall, ... Read more
From a Southwest Airlines employee.... "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight XXX to YYY. To operate your seatbelt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight. It works just like every other seatbelt, and if you ... Read more
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of this ... Read more
From the pilot during his welcome message: "We are pleased to have some of the best flight attendants in the industry... Unfortunately none of them are on this ... Read more
Garden Water Featuresby Lily ... Read more
Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on the ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the small town and spend a day or two resting ... Read more
General Heath, a famous lover of parade music and marching drill ceremonies, once listened to a symphonic orchestra playing.When asked about his impressions, he commented:"No military precision in drill...""Why?""Did ... Read more
