What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy’s tomb indicate ?
The registration of the car that ran him over !
What English King invented the fireplace ?
Alfred the grate !
What famous chiropodist ruled England ?
William the Corn-cutter!
What was Camelot ?
A place where people parked their camels !
What was King Arthur’s favourite game ?
Knights and crosses !
What was the first think Queen Elizabeth did on ascending to the throne ?
Sat down !
What was the greatest accomplishment of the early Romans ?
Speaking Latin !
When crossing the Delaware River why did George Washington stand up in the boat ?
He was afraid that if he sat down that someone would give him an oar to row !
When did Caesar reign ?
I didn’t know he reigned.Of course he did, didn’t they hail him ?
When were King Arthur’s army too tired to fight ?
When they had lots of sleepless knights !
Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America ?
On their feet !
Who gave the Liberty Bell to Philadelphia ?
Must have been a duck family A duck family ?
Didn’t you say there was a quack in it !
Who invented King Arthur’s round table ?
Sir Circumference !
Who succeeded the first President of the USA ?
The second one !
Whose son was Edward, the Black Prince ?
Old King Coal !
Why did Arthur have a round table ?
So no one could corner him !
Why did Julius Caesar buy crayons ?
He wanted Mark Antony !
Why did Henry VIII have so many wives ?
He liked to chop and change !
Why did the Pilgrims create Thanksgiving?
They wanted another excuse to watch football.
Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons ?
Because they didn’t want to wait 40 years for a train !
Why did the Romans build straight roads ?
So their soldiers didn’t go around the bend !
Why does history keep repeating itself ?
Because we weren’t listening the first time !
Why were the early days of history called the dark ages ?
Because there were so many knights !
Woman: Why are you begging for a quarter?
Beggar: I didn’t think someone like you would give me a dollar.
You’ve failed history again !Well you always told me to let bygones be bygones !
