What did General Patton do on Thanksgiving?

He gave tanks.

What did King Arthur sleep with when he was afraid of the dark?

A knight light

What did Napoleon become when he was 41 years old ?

A year older on his birthday !

What did Paul Revere say when he got on his horse?

Giddy up horsey !

What did the Pharaohs use to keep their babies quiet?

Egyptian dummies.

What did they do at the Boston Tea Party ?

I don’t know, I wasn’t invited !

What do Alexander the Great and Winnie the Pooh have in common ?

They both have ‘the’ as their middle names !

What do history teachers make when they want to get together ?

Dates !

What does the 1286BC incribed on the mummy’s tomb indicate ?

The registration of the car that ran him over !

What English King invented the fireplace ?

Alfred the grate !