How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?

Both of them.

How many men does it take to open a beer?

– None. It should be opened by the time she brings it.

If a man says something in the middle of a forest, and there is no womenaround to hear him, is he still wrong?

Man says to God: “God, why did you make woman so beautiful?

“God says: “So you would love her.” “But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?

“God says: “So she would love you.” “But God,” the man says, “why did you make her so dumb?

“God says: “So she would love you.”

Men are like animals: messy, insensitive andpotentially violent, but they make great pets.

Men are like bank accounts. Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.

Men are like horoscopes.They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.

Men are like high heels. They’re easy to walk on once you get the hang of it.

Men are like government bonds. They take so long to mature.

Men are like fine wine. They all start out like grapes, and it’s a woman’s job to stomp on them and keep them in the dark until they mature into something you’d like to have dinner with.