I’d like a new frog, please. But you bought one only yesterday. What happened?
It Kermit-ted suicide.
I’d like a new frog, please. But…
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Author Archives: lennart
I wouldn’t say that Christmas gn…
I wouldn’t say that Christmas gnomes are cross-eyed, but when they cry the tears run down their back!
I was so sorry to hear you burie…
I was so sorry to hear you buried your mother last week.Well, we had to, you know, she was dead.
I went on a long bicycle ride ye…
I went on a long bicycle ride yesterday. Farcical?
I went to a restaurant that serv…
I went to a restaurant that serves -breakfast at any time.- So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance.
I went to see my doctor to see i…
I went to see my doctor to see if he could help me give up smoking. What did he say?
He suggested that every time I felt like a smoke I should reach for a bar of chocolate. Did that do any good?
No – I can’t get the chocolate to light.
I was walking across a bridge on…
I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. I immediately ran over and said “Stop! Don’t do it!” “Why shouldn’t I?
” he said. I said, “Well, there’s so much to live for!” “Like what?
” “Well … are you religious or atheist?
” “Religious.” “Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?
” “Christian.” “Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?
” “Protestant.” “Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?
” “Baptist.” “Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?
” “Baptist Church of God.” “Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?
” “Reformed Baptist Church of God.” “Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?
” “Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!” To which I said, “Die, heretic scum!” and pushed him off.
I woke up, went for a walk, my h…
I woke up, went for a walk, my head fell off and rolled away. I picked it up and put it on. A child walked up to me and said: “Good grief, where are your feet?
” I must have left them in bed !
I wouldn’t say Christmas gnomes …
I wouldn’t say Christmas gnomes are small.But they used to be lumberjacks on a mushroom farm!
I was once in a play called Brea…
I was once in a play called Breakfast In Bed. Did you have a big role?
No, just toast and marmalade.