Little Johnny’s class were on an outing to their local police station where they saw pictures, of the ten most wanted men, tacked to a bulletin board. On the way out of the police station Little Johnny said to the officer, “it was so nice of you to put my daddy’s picture up there.”
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, “Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?
“When Mary didn’t stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. “God Almighty!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.A while later the teacher asked Mary, “Who is our Lord and Savior,” but Mary didn’t even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue, and stuck her again. “Jesus Christ!” shouted Mary, and the teacher said, “Very good,” and Mary fell back asleep.Then the teacher asked Mary a third question. “What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?
” And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, “If you stick that damn th ing in me one more time, I’ll break it in half!”
Little Jordan wanted to go to the zoo and pestered his parents, Al and Elaine, for days. Finally Elaine talked Jordan’s reluctant father into taking him. And so Jordan and Al got into the car and left.”So how was it?
” Elaine asked when they returned home.”Great,” Little Jordan replied.”Did you and your father have a good time?
” asked Elaine.”Yeah, Daddy especially liked it,” exclaimed Jordan, excitedly,”especially when one of the animals came racing home at 30 to 1!”
Little Johnny walks into school one day to find a substitute in place of hisregular teacher.She says, “Hello class, I’m Mrs. Prussy. When you say my name class remember ithas an “r” after the first letter.”The entire class says, “Hello Mrs. Prussy.”A few days later the regular teacher is still sick when Little Johnny gets tohis desk the teacher asks what her name is.Johnny thinks hard and the says to the teacher, “I remember it has an “r” afterthe first letter.””That’s right!” she coaxed.Then after a few seconds Little Johnny says, “Mrs. Crunt?
“
Little Johnny wasn’t very good at spelling. During an oral spelling exam, the teacher wrote the word “new” on the blackboard. “Now,” she asked Johnny, “what word would we have if we placed a “K” in the front?
“After a moment’s reflection, Johnny said, “Canoe?
“
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. ‘I’ve lost five cents,’ sobbed Johnny.’Don’t worry,’ said his dad kindly.’ Here’s five more for you,’At this Johnny howled louder than ever.’Now what is it ?
‘ asked his dad.’I wish I’d said I’d lost ten cents!’
Look over there! Said the frightened skunk to his pal.”There’s a human with a gun, and he’s getting closer and closer! What are we going to do?
“To which the second skink calmly replied, “Let us spray .”
Looking Forward by Felix Ited
Little monster: Mom I’ve finished. Can I leave the table?
Mommy monster: Yes, I’ll save it for your tea.
Little Monster: I hate my teacher.Mother Monster: Well just eat your salad up then dear!