Louise was watching her big sister covering her face with cream. “What’s that for?
” she asked. “To make me beautiful,” came the reply. Louise then watched in silence as she wiped her face clean. “Doesn’t work, does it?
” was her comment.
Luke had it first, Paul had it lost; boys never had it; girls have it but once; Miss Polly had it twice in the same place, but when she married Peter Jones she never had it again. What is it?
The letter L.
Mad men are given a test to prove they are getting normal their teacher draws a door on the wall and orders them to go out. They tart fighting but one remains sitting and the teacher goes to him and asks why he didn’t join others and he says “let them fight they forgot I have the keys”
Making Snacksby San Widge
MacAndrews was visiting his Irish cousin, O’Bannon. While there he decided to do a bit of fishing. As he sat there on afternoon, his cousin walked by.”What are ye doing?
” asked O’Bannon.”Fishin’,” said MacAndrews.”Caught anything?
“”Ach, nae a bite,””What are ye usin’ fer bait?
“”Worms””Let me see it,” said O’Bannon.MacAndrews lifted the line from the water and handed it to his cousin. O’Bannon took out his flask of potcheen and dipped the worm in it. He handed it back to MacAndrews, who cast his line once more. As soon as the worm hit the water, his rod bent over double, the line screaming out.”Have ye got a bite?
” asked O’Bannon.”No!” shouted MacAndrews, fighting with the rod, “The worm’s got a salmon by the throat!”
Making the Least of Life by Minnie Mumm
Losing a wife can be hard. In most cases, it is damned near impossible.
Loomis: Does your dog have a license?
Fenton: Hell, no! I do all the drivin’.
Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It’s called a garbage compactor.
Mama Pig has a great, new kitchen appliance that lets her prepare meals ahead. It’s called a garbage compactor.