The difference between men and womenA man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out the window and yells, “PIG!”The man immediately leans out his window and replies, “Stupid!”They each continue on their way, and as the man rounds the next corner he slams into a pig in the middle of the road.
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. “You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!” “What’s he doing with the apples?
” the sergeant asked. “If I told you,” the woman cried, “you wouldn’t believe me!”
The desk sergeant answered the phone, and at once a woman began screaming. “You’ve got to help me! There’s a giant gray thing in my yard, and it’s pulling apples off the tree with its tail!” “What’s he doing with the apples?
” the sergeant asked. “If I told you,” the woman cried, “you wouldn’t believe me!”
The defendant stood up in the dock and said to the judge, “I dont recognize this court!””Why?
” asked the Judge.”Because you’ve had it decorated since the last time I was here.”
The fishing season hasn’t opened and a fisherman who doesn’t have a license, is casting for trout as a stranger approaches and asks “Any luck?
“”Any luck?
This is a wonderful spot. I took 10 out of this stream yesterday” he boasts. “Is that so?
By the way, do you know who I am?
” asks the stranger. “Nope.””Well, meet the new game warden.” “Oh,” gulped the fisherman. “Well, do you know who I am?
” “Nope”. “Meet the biggest liar in the state.”
The first woman recruit in the Army reported for duty and was told that although her quarters would be in a separate building, she was to mess with the men.It wasn’t until four weeks later someone finally told her that meant to eat her meals with them.
The first lawyer questioning a panel of prospective jurors began right off as an intimidating showman. When he came to his question, “Do any of you here today dislike lawyers?
” they stiffened and hesitated.Before the pause became too long, the judge announced, “I do.”
The first commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.
The Fire brigade phones George Graham in the early hours of Sunday morning.”Mr Graham sir, White Hart Lane is on fire!””The cups man! Save the cups!” cries George.”Uh, the fire hasn’t spread to the canteen yet, sir.”
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions?
” At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, “Er… How much for a season pass?
“