The last time I saw a face like yours I threw it a banana.
The last time I saw a face like …
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Author Archives: lennart
The Laser Weaponby Ray Gunn…
The Laser Weaponby Ray Gunn
The Lady Artistby Andrew Picture…
The Lady Artistby Andrew Pictures
The kindergarten class had a hom…
The kindergarten class had a homework assignment to find out about something exciting and relate it to the class the next day. When the time came for the little kids to give their reports, the teacher was calling on them one at a time. She was reluctant to call upon little Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit crude. But eventually his turn came. Little Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on the blackboard, then sat back down. Well the teacher couldn’t figure out what Johnnie had in mind for his report, so she asked him just what that was. “It’s a period,” reported Johnnie. “Well I can see that,” she said, “but what is so exciting about a period.” “Damned if I know,” said Johnnie, “but this morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy had a heart attack, Mommy fainted and the man next door shot himself.”
The kids are crazy about a new p…
The kids are crazy about a new piglet toy. When they wind it up, it eats all the spinach off their plates.
The July temperature in Joplin c…
The July temperature in Joplin climbed over the one hundred mark. Despite the scorching heat, Bozell was outside painting his house. A passerby stopped for a moment to watch him and then asked, “How cum yer wearin’ two jackets?
” ” ‘Cause,” said the redneck, “the directions on the can say ta put on two coats!”
The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Bu…
The Long Walk Home by Miss D. Buss
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked…
The Lone Ranger and Tonto walked into a bar one day and sat down to drink a beer. After a few minutes, a big tall cowboy walked in and said, “Who owns the big white horse outside?
” The Lone Ranger stood up, hitched his gunbelt, and said, “I do. Why?
” The cowboy looked at the Lone Ranger and said, “I just thought you would like to know that your horse is just about dead outside!!” The Lone Ranger and Tonto rushed outside and, sure enough, Silver was about dead from heat exhaustion. The Lone Ranger got him some water and made him drink it, and soon Silver was starting to feel a little better. The Lone Ranger turned to Tonto and said, “Tonto, I want you to run around Silver and see if you can create enough of a breeze to make him start to feel better.” Tonto said, “Sure Kemosabe”, and took off running circles around Silver. Not able to do anything else but wait, the Lon e Ranger returned to the bar to finish his drink. A few minutes later, another cowboy struts into the bar and announces, “Who owns that big white horse outside?
” The Lone Ranger stands again and claims, “I do. What is wrong with him this time?
” The cowboy says to him, “Nothing much, I just wanted you to know………… you left your Injun running!!!”
The local sheriff was looking fo…
The local sheriff was looking for a deputy, so Gomer – who was not exactly the sharpest nail in the bucket went in to try out for the job.”Okay,” the sheriff drawled, “Gomer, what is 1 and 1?
“”11” he replied.The sheriff thought to himself, “That’s not what I meant, but he’s right.””What two days of the weekstart with the letter ‘T’?
“”Today and tomorrow.”He was again surprised that Gomer supplied a correct answer that he had never thought of himself.”Now Gomer, listen carefully: Who killed Abraham Lincoln?
“Gomer looked a little surprised himself, then thought really hard for a minute and finally admitted, “I don’t know.””Well, why don’t you go home and work on that one for a while?
“So, Gomer wandered over to the pool hall where his pals were waiting to hear the results of the interview. Gomer was exultant.”It went great! First day on the job and I’m already working on a murder case!”
The local priest came across Pad…
The local priest came across Paddy who had stumbled out of the town tavern.”Paddy,” he said, ” I’m afraid I’ll not be seeing you in Heaven one day.””Really, Father?
” slurred Paddy. “What have you done?
“