The Judge said to the defendant. “I thought I told you I never wanted to see you in here again.””Your Honor,” the criminal said, “that’s what I tried to tell the police, but they wouldn’t listen.”
The judge said to his dentist: “Pull my tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.”
The Judge asked the defendant, “Mr. Jones ,do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth?
“”I do.””Now what do you say to defend yourself?
“”Your Honor, under those limitations… nothing.”
The Judge admonished the witness, “Do you understand that you have sworn to tell the truth?
“”I do.””Do you understand what will happen if you are not truthful?
“”Sure,” said the witness. “My side will win.”
The Joys of Horse-riding by Jim Kama
The Joys of Hitch-hiking by Marsha Long
The Japenese Way of Death by Harri Kirri
The little kid sat on the side of the road with a fishing line down the drain. Feeling sorry for him, and wanting to humor him, a lady gave him 50 cents, and kindly asked “How many have you caught?
” “You’re the tenth this morning,” was the reply.
The little church in the suburbs suddenly stopped buying from its regular office supply dealer. So, the dealer telephoned Deacon Brown to ask why.”I’ll tell you why,” shouted Deacon Brown. “Our church ordered some pencils from you to be used in the pews for visitors to register.””Well, interrupted the dealer, “didn’t you receive them yet?
“”Oh, we received them all right,” replied Deacon Brown.”However, you sent us some golf pencils…each stamped with the words, `Play Golf Next Sunday.'”
The lifeguard told the mother to make her young son stop urinating in the pool.”Everyone knows,” the mother lectured him, “that from time to time, young children will urinate in a pool.” “Oh really?
” said the lifeguard, “from the diving board!?
!?
“