Author Archives: lennart

The husband was not home at his …

The husband was not home at his usual hour, and the wife was fuming, as the clock ticked later and later. Finally, about 3:00 AM she heard a noise at the front door, and as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs. “Do you realize what time it is?

” she asked. He answered, “Don’t get excited. I’m late because I bought something for the house.” Immediately her attitude changed, and as she ran down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked, “What did you buy for the house, dear?

” His answer was, “A round of drinks!”

The housewife answered a knock o…

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.’Excuse me for disturbing you, ma’am,’ he said politely, ‘ but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread!”That’s right.”Every day you wallop him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were hitting him with a chocolate cake….?

”Well, today is his birthday!’

The housewife answered a knock o…

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep. “Excuse me for disturbing you, ma’am,” he said politely, “but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I’ve noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread.””That’s right.” “Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake.” “Well, today is his birthday.”

The headwaiter of an elegant res…

The headwaiter of an elegant restaurant recoiled in disgust as a man in boots, torn jeans and a leather jacket approached him. “Hey, man,” he said, “where’s the toilet?

” “Go down the hall and turn left, “replied the headwaiter. “When you see the sign marked ‘Gentlemen; pay no attention to it and go right on in.”

The head doctors in an insane as…

The head doctors in an insane asylum had a meeting and decided that one of their patients was potentially well. So they decide to test him and take him to the movies. When they get to the movie theater, there are signs of wet paint pointing to the benches. The doctors just sit down, but the patient puts a newspaper down first and then sits down. The doctors get all excited cause they think maybe he’s in touch with reality now. So they ask him, ” Why did you put the newspaper down first?

” He answers, “So I’d be higher and have a better view.”

The Irish girl knelt in the conf…

The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said, “Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.””What is it, child?

“The girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.”The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, “My dear, I have good news. That isn’t a sin – it’s only a mistake.”