They say she has a sharp tongue. Yes, she can slice bread with it.
They say she has a sharp tongue….
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Author Archives: lennart
They say Margaret is a raving be…
They say Margaret is a raving beauty. You mean she’s escaped from the funny farm?
They now have an Italian airline…
They now have an Italian airline that flies out of Genoa.It’s called Genitalia.
This elderly Newfoundland fisher…
This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. “Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I’d like to be buried at sea.” So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, “Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons… Funeral arrangements haven’t yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea.”
This day holds a lot of meaning …
This day holds a lot of meaning for me. It was on this day two yearsago that I lost my dear wife and children.I’ll never forget that game of cards…
This customer comes into the com…
This customer comes into the computer store. “I’m looking for a mystery Adventure Game with lots of graphics. You know, something really challenging.” “Well,” replied the clerk, “Have you tried Windows 98?
“
This computer you charged me L95…
This computer you charged me L950 for doesn’t work….and you said it would be trouble free.It is, I charged you L950 for the computer, but you’re getting all that trouble absolutely free!
This blonde is so stupid, she ca…
This blonde is so stupid, she called me to get my telephone number!
This blonde and her boyfriend we…
This blonde and her boyfriend were sitting in a hot tub when the blonde said to her boyfriend, “Is it true that if you pull your finger out, I’ll sink?
“
This 85 year old couple, having …
This 85 year old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years mainly due to her interest in health food, and exercise.When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen and master bath suite and Jacuzzi. As they “oohed and aahed” the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “It’s free,” Peter replied, “this is Heaven.” Next they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges everyday and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, “what are the green fees?
“. Peter’s reply, “This is heaven, you play for free.” Next they went to the club house and saw the lavish buffet lunch with rthe cuisine’s of the world laid out. “How much to eat?
” asked the old man. “Don’t you understand yet?
This is heaven, it is free!” Peter replied with some exasperation. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?
” the old man asked timidly. Peter lectured, “That’s the best part…you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick. This is Heaven.” With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, “This is all your fault. If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”