Two aliens landed their ship on a golf course and watched a young man golfing. First he hit it into the high grass, mumbling and cursing he retrieved his ball. Then he hit it into the sand bunker shouting curse words he retrieved the ball. Next he hit a perfect hole in one, then the first alien said to the second, “Uh-oh cover your ears he’s going to be really mad now”!
Two aliens landed in the remote countryside and went walking from the flying saucer along a narrow lane. The first thing they saw was a red pillar box. `Take us to your leader,’ said the first alien.`Don’t waste time talking to him. Can’t you see he’s only a child?
‘ said the second alien.
Two aliens from outer space landed in Las Vegas and were wandering around the casinos. One of them volunteered to go inside and see what was happening. He came out looking rather shocked. “What’s the matter?
” asked his friend. “It’s a very popular place,” replied the first alien. “It’s full of creatures that keep throwing up little metal discs.”
Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, “Hey, sarge, why did you stop?
“The sarge replied, “He’s in Georgia now. They’re an hour ahead of us, so we’ll never catch him.”
Two accountants are in a bank, when armed robbers burst in. While several of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line the customers, including the accountants, up against a wall, and proceed to take their wallets, watches, etc. While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two’s hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, “What is this?
” to which accountant number one replies, “it’s that $50 I owe you.”
Two aardvarks watched in amazement as a firework flashed across the sky. 1st aardvark: Wow! I wish I could fly like that. 2nd aardvark: You would, if your tail was on fire.
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror and says, “Hmmm, this person looks familiar.”The second blonde says, “Here, let me see!” So the first Blonde hands her the compact. She looks in the mirror and says, “You dummy, it’s me!”
Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake. One blonde yells to the other, “How do you get to the other side?
” “You are on the other side,” the other blonde yells back.
Two blind man at a cinema: “Can you see something ?
“”No”.”Then let’s go in front !”
Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.”I didn’t sleep with my wife before I was married,” said one clergyman self-righteously, “Did you?
“”I don’t know,” said the other. “What was her maiden name?
“