Two elderly Southern women are sitting on the veranda sipping lemonade and reminiscing about old times.One says to the other, “Darling, do you remember the minuet?
“The other replies, “Sweetheart, I can’t even remember the ones I screwed!”
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car-both could barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along they came to an intersection. The stoplight was red but they just went on through. The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself “I must be losing it, I could have sworn we just went through a red light.” After a few more minutes they came to another intersection and the light was red again and again they went right though. This time the woman in the passenger seat was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned that she was losing it. She was getting nervous and decided to pay very close attention to the road and the next intersection to see what was going on. At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was definitely red and they went right through and she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred! Did you know we just ran through thre e red lights in a row! You could have killed us!” Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, am I driving?
“
Two elderly women were staring at the numbers ofthe floors listed above the elevator door. When askedif they needed any assistance with something, oneasked how they were going to be able to reach way upthere to push the button for their floor.
Two elephants jumped off a cliff……. BOOM BOOM!
Two fathers and two sons went duck hunting. Each shot a duck but they shot only three ducks in all. How come?
The hunters were a man, his son and his grandson.
Two fellows were sitting in a coffee shop…suddenly the Town’s Fire Alarm went off … one jumped up and headed for the door … his friend shouted, “Hey, Tom, I didn’t know you were a fireman!”Tom replied, “I’m not, but my girlfriend’s husband is…”
Two fishermen were out on the lake when one of them dropped his wallet. As they watched the wallet float down to the depths of the lake, a carp came along and snatched up the wallet. Soon came another carp who stole it away and then a third joined in. Remarked one of the fisherman, “That’s the first time I’ve ever seen carp-to-carp walleting.”
Two fleas where running across the top of a cereal packet ?
“Why are we running so fast ?
” said oneBecause it says “Tear along the dotted line”
Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. “Why are we running so fast?
” asked one. “Because,” said the second, “it says ‘tear along the dotted line’!”
Two flies were on a cornflakes packet. “Why are we running so fast?
” asked one. “Because,” said the second, “it says ‘tear along the dotted line’!”