Waiter, I can’t eat this meat, it’s crawling with maggots !Quick, run to the other end of the table and grab it as it goes by !

Waiter, can you get rid of this fly in my starter !I can’t do that sir, he’s not had his main course yet !

Waiter, are there snails on the menu !Yes sir, they must have escaped from the kitchen !

Waiter, I can’t seem to find any oysters in this oyster soup.Would you expect to find angels in angel cake?

Waiter, is there soup on the menu ?

No, madam I wiped it off !

Waiter, I’d like a cup of coffee, please, with no cream.I’m sorry, sir, but we’re out of cream. How about with no milk?

Waiter, my lunch is talking to me !Well you did ask for a tongue sandwich !

Waiter, there is a cockroach on my steak !They don’t seem to care what they eat do they sir !

Waiter, there is a bee in my alphabet soup !Yes sir, and I’m sure there is an A, C and all the other letters too !

Waiter, there is a dead fly in my soup !No its not, it’s a piece of dirt that looks like one !