Waiter, what is this stuff?

That’s bean salad sir.I know what it’s been, but what is it now?

Waiter, what’s this bug doing waltzing around my table !It’s the band, sir, they are playing his tune !

Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir

Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

It’s fly soup sir!

Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?

“1st customer: “I’ll have tea.”2nd customer: “Me, too – and be sure the glass is clean!”(Waiter exits, returns)Waiter: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

“

Waiter, your tie is in my soup!That’s all right, sir, it’s not shrinkable.

Waiter: I’m sorry I spilled a glass of water on you.Diner: That’s all right. My suit is too large anyway.

Waiter: I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon.Customer: What bait are you using?

Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back?

Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife’s cooking.

Waiter: These are the best eggs we’ve had for years.Diner: Well, bring me some you haven’t had around for that long.