Author Archives: lennart

While cruising at 40,000 feet, t…

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While cruising at 40,000 feet, the airplane shuddered and Mr. Benson looked out the window. “Good lord!” he screamed, “one of the engines just blew up!”Other passengers left their seats and came running over; suddenly the aircraft was rocked by a second blast as yet another engine exploded on the other side.The passengers were in a panic now, and even the stewardesses couldn’t maintain order. Just then, standing tall and smiling confidently, the pilot strode from the cockpit and assured everyone that there was nothing to worry about. His words and his demeanor seemed made most of the passengers feel better, and they sat down as the pilot calmly walked to the door of the aircraft. There, he grabbed several packages from under the seatsand began handing them to the flight attendants. Each crew member attatched the package to their backs.”Say,” spoke up an alert passenger, “aren’t tho se parachutes?

“The pilot said they were.The passenger went on, “But I thought you said there was nothing to worry about?

“”There isn’t,” replied the pilot as a third engine exploded. “We’re going to get help.”

While crossing the US-Mexican bo…

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While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. “What’s in the bags?

“, asked the guard.”Sand,” said the cyclist.”Get them off – we’ll take a look,” said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. “Say friend, you sure had us crazy”, said the guard. “We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I won’t say a word – but what is it you were smu ggling?

” “Bicycles!”

While away at a convention, an e…

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While away at a convention, an executive happened to meet a young woman who waspretty and intelligent. When he persuaded her to disrobe in his hotel room, hefound out she had a superb body as well. Unfortunately, the executive foundhimself unable to perform.On his first night home, the executive walked from the shower into the bedroomto find his wife covered in a rumpled bathrobe, her hair curled, her facecreamed, munching candy loudly while she pored through a movie magazine.Then, without warning, he felt the onset of a magnificent erection.Looking down at this, he snarled, “Why you ungrateful, mixed-up son of a bitch.Now I know why they call you a prick!”