Dan had been studying whales for over 20 years and had made some thrilling breakthroughs regarding their communication. He had managed to decode many of their underwater sounds and to translate them into English. His latest research had proved that they can communicate over a distance of 300 miles. When asked what could they possibly have to say at such distances he replied, “As best as we can figure, it is something like – Hey, can you hear me now?

Do molecular biologists wear designer genes?

Garvin the mammalogist, was in Alaska studying polar bear. In sub-zero weather, he would spend 7 days out on the ice. But, after his 7 days in the field, he would return to the small town and spend a day or two resting up and drinking in the only bar in town. On one particular day it was 40 below zero and Garvin made his way into the bar. He asked Bud, the bartender, for a whiskey. “I don’t know, Garvin, you sure have run-up a big bill in here.” The bartender told him.” I know,” Garvin replied, “But I’m flat broke, and I sure could use a drink.”OK,” The barkeep told him, “I’ll just write your tab down on the piece of paper and pin it up here by the coat rack.””Oh no, don’t do that, I don’t want everyone in town to see it.”Don’t worry,” The bartender replied, “I’m going to cover it up with your parka until its paid!”

How do you eat a DNA spaghetti?

With a replication fork (you can also use your zinc fingers…)

How many evolutionists does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one, but it takes eight million years.

How many biologists does it take to change a light bulb?

Four. One to change it and three to write the environmental-impact statement.

Q: How so you call a member of the finacial staff of the faculty of Biology?

A: A Buy-ologist.

Q: what’s a biologists definition of a graphA: an animal with a long neck

There were these two Engineers who decided they would go moose hunting in the backwoods of British Columbia. As it happened, they lucked out and got a moose. Unfortunately, they were about a mile from their truck. They were having a tough time dragging the animal by the hind legs when a Wildlife Biologist happened upon them.He said, “You know, the hair follicles on a moose have a grain to themthat causes the hair to lie toward the back. The way you are dragging thatmoose, it increases your coefficient of friction by a huge margin. If yougrab it by the antlers and pull, you will find the work required to be quiteminimal.” The Engineers thanked him and started dragging the moose by the antlers. After about an hour, one Engineer said, “I can’t believe how easy it is to move this moose this way. I sure am glad we ran across that Biologist.””Yeah.”, said the other. “But we’ re getting further and further away from our truck.”

Two biologists are in the field following the tracks of a radio-collared grizzly bear. All of a sudden, the bear crashes out of the brush and heads right for them. They scramble up the nearest tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first biologist starts taking off his heavy leather hiking boots and pulls a pair of sleek running shoes from his back-pack. The second biologist gives him a puzzled look and says, “What in the world are you doing?

“He replies, “I figure when the bear gets close to us, we’ll jump down and make a run for it.”The second guy says, “Are you crazy?

We both know you can’t outrun a full-grown grizzly bear.”The first guy says, “I don’t have to outrun the bear, I only have to outrun you!”