Did you ever see a country boy in New York whistle for a cab?

He puts two fingers in his mouth and hollers, “Taxi!”

Did you hear about the boy who had to do a project on trains?

He had to keep track of everything!

Did you hear about the girl who was so keen on road safety that she always wore white at night ?

Last Winter she was knocked down by a snow plough

Dilmer, six-foot-three, two hundred eighty pounds, was thrown from his seat when the Southern Railway train he was riding derailed. The giant teenager flew a dozen feet through the air before hitting headfirst against a steel partition. For a moment Dilmer lay dazed, rubbing his head. The conductor came by and kneeled down beside him. “Don’t move!” said the conductor. “We’ve called an ambulance.” “Naw,” said the boy, getting to his feet. “I ain’t hurt so bad. That steel wall musta broke my fall!”

Five Englishmen in an Audi Quattro arrive at the Italian border.The Italian customer agent stops them and tells them: “Itsa illegal to putta fiva people ina Quattro.””What do you mean it’s illegal?

” asked the Englishmen.”Quattro means four,” replies the Italian official.”Quattro is just the name of the automobile,” the Englishmen says disbelievingly. “Look at the papers: this car is designed to carry 5 persons.””You can’ta pulla thata one ona me,” replies the Italian customs agent.”Quattro means four. You hava fiva people ina your car and you are therefore breakin’a the law”.The Englishmen reply angrily, “You idiot! Call your supervisor over We want to speak to someone with more intelligence!””Sorry,” responds the Italian official, “he can’ta come”.”He’s a busy with two guys in a Uno”.

Hawk and Tom were talking in the bar. Hawk said,” I just got kicked off the course for breaking 60.”Tom looked at him, amazed. ” Breaking 60?

That’s amazing!”Hawk smiled and said,” Yeah, I never knew a golf cart could go that fast!”

How did the woman feel when she got run over by a car?

Tired.

How do you stop a dog howling in the back of a car?

Put him in the front.

I saw the most beautiful cars in the window of a dealership recently. A sales man came out and said: ‘Come on in. They’re bigger than ever and they last a lifetime!’ Later I learned he was talking about the payments.

I was going 70 miles an hour and got stopped by a cop who said, -Do you know the speed limit is 55 miles per hour?

– -Yes, officer, but I wasn’t going to be out that long.-