Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

Um, looks to me to be backstroke, sir

Waiter, what’s this fly doing in my soup?

It’s fly soup sir!

Waiter: “Tea or coffee, gentlemen?

“1st customer: “I’ll have tea.”2nd customer: “Me, too – and be sure the glass is clean!”(Waiter exits, returns)Waiter: “Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?

“

Waiter, your tie is in my soup!That’s all right, sir, it’s not shrinkable.

Waiter: I’m sorry I spilled a glass of water on you.Diner: That’s all right. My suit is too large anyway.

Waiter: I’m sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon.Customer: What bait are you using?

Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back?

Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wife’s cooking.

Waiter: These are the best eggs we’ve had for years.Diner: Well, bring me some you haven’t had around for that long.

Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order?

Diner: I can’t decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.

Waiter: Why didn’t you make all the food on that long order?

Cook: Because I’m a short order cook.