Janet: What’s the difference between a cake and a school bus ?
Jill: I don’t know.Janet: I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick up my birthday cake !
Janet: What’s the difference between a cake and a school bus ?
Jill: I don’t know.Janet: I’m glad I didn’t send you to pick up my birthday cake !
Jay: Does the Bible say that if you smoke you can’t get toheaven?
Ted: No, but the more you smoke the quicker you’ll get there.
Jeb and Eudell, University of Michigan athletes, were driving from Ann Arbor to Cleveland. Just outside the city limits they saw a sign: “CLEAN REST ROOMS.” By the time they got to Cleveland, they’d cleaned 147 Johns.
Jennifer: Are you coming to my party ?
Sandra: No, I ain’t.Jennifer: Now, you know what Miss told us. Not ain’t. It’s I am not coming, he is not coming, she is not coming, they are not coming. Sandra: Blimey, ain’t nobody coming ?
Jimmy, how many more times must I tell you to come away from that cookie tin?
No more, mom. It’s empty.
Jill: How did you find the weather on your vacation?
Bill: I just went outside and there it was!
Joan, who was rather well-proportioned, spent almost all of her vacation sunbathing on the roof of her hotel. She wore a bathing suit the first day, but on the second, she decided that no one could see her way up there, and she slipped out of it for an overall tan. She’d hardly begun when she heard someone running up the stairs. She was lying on her stomach, so she just pulled a towel over her rear. “Excuse me, miss,” said the flustered assistant manager of the hotel, out of breath from running up the stairs. “The Hilton doesn’t mind your sunbathing on the roof, but we would very much appreciate your wearing a bathing suit as you did yesterday.” “What difference does it make?
” Joan asked rather calmly. “No one can see me up here, and besides, I’m covered with a towel.” “Not exactly,” said the embarrassed man. “You’re lying on the dining room skylight.”
Jill’s car was unreliable and she called John for a ride every time it broke down. One day John got yet another one of those calls. “What happened this time?
” he asked. “My brakes went out,” Jill said. “Can you come to get me?
“”Where are you?
” John asked. “I’m in the drugstore,” Jill responded. “And where’s the car?
” John asked. Jill replied, “It’s in here with me.”
Jill: Have you read the Bible?
Jack: No, I’m waiting for the film to come round.
Joan, the town gossip and supervisor of the town’s morals, publicly accused herneighbor George of being an alcoholic because she saw his pickup truck parkedoutside the town’s only bar.George stared at her for a moment, and said nothing. Later that evening, heparked his pickup truck in front of her house and left it there all night.