Johnny was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday School. “Well, mum, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. “When he got to the Red Sea he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and saved the Israelites.” “Now, Johnny, is that really what your teacher taught you?

” his mother asked. “Well, no, mom, but if I told it the way the teacher did, you’d never believe it.”

Johnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, “Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?

“The priest says, “Because I’m a father.”Johnny says, “Yeah?

Well, my old man’s got three kids and he don’t wear his collar backwards.”The priest says “You don’t understand, son. I have thousands of children.” Johnny says, “You should wear your trousers backwards.”