Judge: Is there any reason you could not serve as a juror in this case?
Juror: I don’t want to be away from my job that long. Judge: Can’t they do without you at work?
Juror: Yes, but I don’t want them to know it.
Judge: You stated that the stairs went down to the basement, is that correct?
A: Yes.Judge: And these same stairs, did the also go up?
Judge: You claim you robbed the grocery store because you were starving. So why didn’t you take the food instead of the cash out of the till?
Burglar: Your Honour! I’m a proud man, sir, and I make it a rule to pay for everything I eat.
JUDY: What did the ghosts say to Santa Claus?
MIKE: We’ll have a boo Christmas without you.
Judge: Your first marriage was terminated by death?
A: Yes, by death.Judge: And by whose death was it terminated?
Judge: Are you married?
A. No, I’m divorced.Judge. And what did your husband do before you divorced him?
A. A lot of things I didn’t know about.
Judge: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
A: All my autopsies are on dead people.
Judge: All your responses to the questions must be oral. Do you understand?
A: YesJudge: What school did you attend in the fall of 1995?
A: Oral.
Judge: “Is it true that you owe your neighbor a thousand dollars?
“Defendant: “Yes, it’s true.”Judge: “Then, why don’t you just pay him back?
“Defendant: “Because it wouldn’t be true anymore.”
Josh sent a letter to his folks. He told about a ten-mile hike he had taken.His father wrote back saying, ‘In my day I thought nothing of walking ten miles.’Josh wrote back, ‘To tell the truth, I didn’t think much of it either.