Did you hear about the monster who had an extra pair of hands?

Where did he keep them?

In a handbag.

Did you hear about the monster with one eye at the back of his head, and one at the front?

He was terribly moody because he couldn’t see eye to eye with himself.

Did you hear about the monster with five legs?

His trousers fit him like a glove.

Did you hear about the monster who went to a holiday camp?

He won the ugly mug and knobbly knees competition and he wasn’t even entered.

Did you hear about the monster who sent his picture to a lonely hearts club?

They sent it back saying they weren’t that lonely!

Did you hear about the monster who lost all his hair in the war?

He lost it in a hair raid.