Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?
Yes, that’s right. Well, I don’t blame God for chucking her out.
Mum, is it true my baby sister came from Heaven?
Yes, that’s right. Well, I don’t blame God for chucking her out.
Mum, are the Smiths very poor people?
I don’t think so, Jimmy. Why do you ask?
Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin
Mum, Can I have a dog for Christmas ?
No you can have turkey like everyone else !
Mum, does God use the bathroom?
No, what a funny question! Then why did Dad say this morning, ‘Oh, God, are you still in there?
‘
Mrs. Smith: Help me, doctor! My son, John, swallowed the can opener!Doctor: Don’t panic. He’ll be alright.Mrs. Smith: But how do I open the can of beans?
! The toast is getting cold!
Mrs. Filmore returned home from a business trip and asked her husband, “How did Greg do on his history exam?
” “Oh, not so good,” he replied.”But it wasn’t his fault. They asked him about things that happened before he was born!”
Mrs. McKenzie was showing Corbett, the contractor, through the second floor of her new house to show him what colors to paint the rooms. “I’d like the bathroom done in white!” Corbett walked over to the window and shouted, “Green up! Green up!” “I want the bedroom in blue!” continued the woman. The contractor listened and yelled out the window, “Green up! Green up!” “The halls should be done in beige!” she instructed. Again, the man barked out the window, “Green up! Green up!” “Will you stop that?
!” shouted the woman. “Every time I give you a color, all you do is shout ‘Green up!’ What the devil does that mean?
” ‘Tm real sorry, ma’am!” explained Corbett. “But I got three Oklahoma basketball players down there tryin’ to put in the front lawn!”
Mrs. Ellis came home from work one evening to find her three-year-old son lighting up a cigar. She raced into the kitchen where her husband was making dinner. “Hey!” she announced. “This is terrible! I just caught Matthew lighting a cigar!” “You put a stop to that right now,” he shouted. “That kid is altogether too young to be playing with matches!”
My Aunt Maud had so many candles on her last birthday cake that all her party guests got sunburnt !
Murphy said to his daughter, “I want you home by eleven o’clock.” She said, “But Father, I’m no longer a child!” He said, “I know, that’s why I want you home by eleven.”