On what should you mount a statue of your cat ?
A caterpillar !
On what should you mount a statu…
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Author Archives: lennart
On what kind of ships do student…
On what kind of ships do students study?
Scholarships.
On the way to preschool, the doc…
On the way to preschool, the doctor had left her stethoscope on the car seat, and her little girl picked it up and began playing with it.’Be still, my heart,’ thought my friend, ‘my daughter wants to follow in my footsteps!’ Then the child spoke to the instrument: “Welcome to McDonald’s. May I take your order?
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On the steps of this church two …
On the steps of this church two pan handlers were doing their dailybusiness. One wore a large cross on his chest and the other – a starof David. Of course, most of the church goers generously gave to thecross wearer and the other was overlooked.Finally the Pastor approached the Jew and suggested that if he takeoff the star of David maybe he’d get some more hand outs.”Get this guy, Chaim” laughs the pan handler and turns to his crosswearing pal, “He’s trying to teach *us* how to do business!”
On the last day of camp everyone…
On the last day of camp everyone was asked the same question: ‘What is the best part of the camp?
‘One wise guy answered, ‘Going home!’
On the first day of college, the…
On the first day of college, the Dean addressed thestudents, pointing out some of the rules, saying, “Thefemale dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all malestudents, and the male dormitory to the female students.Anyone caught breaking this rule once will be fined $50.”He continued, “Anyone caught breaking this rule a secondtime will be fined $150. Being caught a third time willincur a hefty fine of $400. Are there any questions?
“At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired, “Howmuch for a season pass?
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On the first day his son joined …
On the first day his son joined the family firm, the founder took him on to the roof of the factory building and said,’I am going to give you your very first lesson in business. Stand on the edge of the roof.’ Reluctantly, the boy went to stand on the edge of the roof. ‘Now,’ said his father, ‘when I say, “Jump,” I want you to jump off the roof.’ ‘But, Dad,’ said the boy, ‘there’s a huge drop!’ ‘Do you want to succeed in business?
‘ ‘Yes, Dad.’ ‘And you trust me, don’t you?
‘ ‘Yes, Dad.’ ‘So do as I say and jump.’ The boy jumped. He crashed to the ground and lay there, winded and bruised. His father went racing down the stairs and ran up to him. That was your first lesson in business, son. Never trust anyone.’
On the first day at school the g…
On the first day at school the girls were sizing each other up and boasting, trying to make good impressions on each other.’I come from a one-parent family,’ said one little girl proudly.’That’s nothing. Both my parents remarried after they got divorced. I come from a four parent family !’
On the airplane on his way back …
On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said,”What’s a four -letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”?
The bishop said,”Did you try “aunt”?
The Pope said,”Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?
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Once a programmer drowned in the…
Once a programmer drowned in the sea. Many Marines where at that time on the beach, but the programmer was shouting “F1 F1” and nobody understood it.