Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, “Wait Please.” To which Laloo replied, “65 kgs,” and moved on.
Once as Laloo was coming out of …
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Author Archives: lennart
Once a Sardarji (a caste man in …
Once a Sardarji (a caste man in India ) goes to visit a temple on a top of Mt. Abu, where the roads are like a zig-zag. At the starting point towards the Temple, a man tells Sardarji that it will be better to take his car in reverse to the top of Mt. Abu as there will be no space at the top to turn around up there. So, as per the guidelines given by the man, The Sardarji, goes to the top of Mt. Abu in reverse. After sometime the Sardarji comes down of the hill in reverse.. When the man sees him, he asks the Sardarji why he came down the hill in a reverse gear. The Sardarji replies that he got some space at the top of the hill so he reversed his car.
One afternoon, a man was riding …
One afternoon, a man was riding in the back of his limousine when he saw two men eating grass by the road side. He ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. “Why are you eating grass?
“, he asked one man. “We don’t have any money for food.”, The poor man replied. “Oh, come along with me then.” “But sir, I have a wife with two children!” “Bring them along! And you, come with me too!”, he said to the other man. “But sir, I have a wife with six children!” The second man answered. “Bring them as well!” They all climbed into the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limo. Once underway, one of the poor fellows says “sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.” The rich man replied “No, you don’t understand, the grass at my home is about three feet tall!”
One afternoon a little boy was p…
One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother’s broom as a horse and had a wonderful time until it was getting dark.He left the broom on the back porch. His mother was cleaning up the kitchen when she realized that her broom was missing. She asked the little boy about the broom and he told her where it was.She then asked him to please go get it. The little boy informed his mom that he was afraid of the dark and didn’t want to go out to get the broom.His mother smiled and said ‘The Lord is out there too, don’t be afraid’. The little boy opened the back door a little and said ‘Lord if you’re out there, hand me the broom’.
Once upon a time, a guy was sitt…
Once upon a time, a guy was sitting at a bar. He was throwing money around, giving the barman hundred dollar tips and buying drinks for everyone. He was surrounded by a crowd of adoring women. The barman liked the tips, but he was kind of curious about a little man thatwould jump from the rich guy’s pocket. The little man would run up and down the bar, kicking over the bowls of peanuts and giving people the finger. Then the little guy would jump back into the man’s jacket for a while. The barman went over and asked the guy what was up.So the rich guy says, “Well, let me tell you a little story. I was walking along a beach one day, and I come across this lamp. I rub it, and a genie popped out. I got three wishes, so my first wish was to be fabulously wealthy. Then I wished for a harem. You can see I got both.”The barman asks, “So what about that little guy in your jacket?
” “Oh, tha t,” mumbles the rich guy. “That’s the twelve-inch prick I wished for.”
Once upon a time, a beautiful, i…
Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the princess, ” I once was a handsome prince until an evil witch put a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children and forever feel happy doing so.” That night, while the princess dined on frog legs,she kept laughing and saying, “I don’t THINK so.”
Once upon a time there were five…
Once upon a time there were five apples Which was the cowboy?
None – because they were all redskins.
Once upon a time there was a lit…
Once upon a time there was a little girl who wanted a kitten for Christmas. Her mother couldn’t buy a kitten and parcel it up for Christmas Day, so she bought it a week before Christmas and gave it to the little girl. ‘You’re getting your Christmas present a week early this year,’ her mother explained as she handed over the fluffy little tabby kitten. ‘Is that what you want?
‘ The little girl said, ‘It’s wonderful, mother…just what I wanted. There’s just one thing wrong!’ ‘What’s that?
‘ her mother asked. ‘Well, it has a cute little claw on the outside of every paw and another little claw on the inside of every paw – but the poor little thing has no claws at all in the middle of its paws!’ Her mother smiled. ‘Don’t worry, Kitty. When you wake up on Christmas morning you’ll find the claws are there.’ Now Kitty loved her kitten dearly, but she worrie d about the claws in the middle of its paws. The days passed and there wasn’t even a hint, a clue or an inkling of claws in the middle of its paws. When Christmas Eve arrived and there was still no sign, Kitty went to her mother and asked again, ‘Are you absolutely sure that the kitten will have its middle claws tomorrow?
There’s only a few hours to go and there’s not a hint or clue or an inkling as to claws as far as I can see.’ ‘Wait till you wake up on Christmas morning,’ her mother smiled and went on stuffing the turkey. So Kitty went to sleep a worried girl. When she woke up on Christmas morning she ignored the presents in her stocking and rushed downstairs to look at her little kitten. She was astounded, amazed and just a little surprised to see that her kitten had four claws on every paw! The middle ones had appeared as if by magic. Kitty rushed to her parent’s bedroom. ‘Mummy , Mummy! The kitten has grown its middle claws!’ ‘Of course it has,’ her mother grinned. ‘But how did you know?
‘ Kitty demanded. Her father rolled over sleepily and sighed, ‘Oh, Kitty, everybody knows that Centre-claws always comes at Christmas!’
Once upon a time there was a bea…
Once upon a time there was a beautiful oil company. All day long she loved to run up and down the share price list, laughing and skipping. But one day she was very sad, because she couldn’t find an interim dividend anywhere and she knew people would be very angry if she couldn’t produce it.”What’s wrong, little oil company?
” said a gruff voice nearby.She looked around and there was a funny little creature with spectacles, a bald patch and shaving cuts.”I can’t find a dividend,” she said and started crying again.”Don’t worry,” said the creature. “I can find you one.””How?
” said the oil company, “And who are you?
“”I’m an accountant,” he said. “As for how I do it, never you mind about that. But there’s one condition. If I do find it for you, you must agree to let me stay with you.””Yes, yes!” she said, anxious only to get the dividend.The accountant disap peared into some books nearby and stayed there for a while. She could hear him muttering and tut-tutting and transferring accounts. Then he emerged and put his long sloping hand into hers.”I’ve found you a dividend,” he said.Her usual cheerfulness returned in an instant and she rushed off to tell her father, the Chairman. She forgot all about the accountant until he followed her in and reminded her of her promise; despite all her tears, her father insisted that she keep her word and that night the little accountant slept on the floor beside her bed.The next morning she opened her eyes and to her amazement she saw the accountant was exactly the same as he had been before.”I know what you’re thinking,” smiled the accountant. “You’re quite right. Before I was changed into an accountant I was a handsome young man with a devil-may-care attitude and considerable joie de vivre.””Then change back!” said t he oil company, clapping her hands.”Are you crazy?
” said the accountant. “Handsome young men are two a penny but clever, ugly little accountants are worth their weight in gold.”
Once upon a time Nasa decided to…
Once upon a time Nasa decided to send 3 astronauts to space for 2 years. One was American, One was Russian and the other was English. NASA allowed each of them to take 200 pounds of baggage each. The American decided to take along his wife, the Englishman decided to take along books to learn how to speak German whilst the Russian decided to take along cigarettes. Two years later, when the space shuttle landed, there was a big crowd waiting to welcome them home. First came the American and his wife and each of them had a baby in their arms. Next came the Englishman speaking fluent German. They both gave their speeches and got a rousing round of applause. Suddenly, out came the Russian with a cigarette in his mouth. He walked up to the podium, snarled at the crowd, and asked “Has anyone got a friggin’ match?
“