Author Archives: lennart

One day there were these three b…

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One day there were these three boys walking down the street, all of a sudden they heard a yell: ‘HELP! HELP!’When the boys got to the noise they saw Bill Clinton in a lake drowning. The three boys saved him from drowning. Bill Clinton asks the first boy how he could ever repay him. The boy said, ‘I want a boat.’The second boy said ‘I want a truck.’ And the third boy said, ‘I want three tombstones with arenames all on them.’ Bill Clinton said, ‘why is that son?

‘ The little boy said, ‘because when my Dad finds out that wesaved you, he is going to kill us all!’

One day there was two boys playi…

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One day there was two boys playing by a stream. One of the young boys saw a bush and went over to it and the other boy couldn’t figure out why his friend was at the bush so long. The other boy went over to the bush and looked. The two boys were looking at a woman bathing naked in the steam. All of a sudden the second boy took off running.The first boy couldn’t understand why he ran away so he took off after his friend. Finally, he caught up to him and asked why he ran away. The boy said to his friend, “My mom told me if I ever saw a naked lady I would turn to stone, and I felt something getting hard, so I ran.”

One day there was a woman who lo…

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One day there was a woman who lost her cat named “LOVE.” It was pretty dark outside and she lived in New York. So, thinking that he might be down the street, she put on her house-coat and went looking for him.When a police officer stopped to ask what she was doing, she said very honestly, “I’m looking for LOVE.” The policeman arrested her on the spot.

One day there was a tortoise wal…

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One day there was a tortoise walking on the road. Along came the hare that had once been defeated by the tortoise in a race. The hare was so angry from what had happened to him so he challenged him to another race. The tortoise gladly accepted his challenge. It ended up that the tortoise and the hare never finished the race because they both took a nap right before the finish line. So the tortoise is still the champion of the race. So remember this you snooze you loose!

One day there was a family drivi…

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One day there was a family driving in the car to Michigan to visit their relatives. They were looking for the street they had to turn on to get to their relatives house. They accedently turned on the wrong street so they had to pull in a driveway and turn around. When they pulled into the driveway the girl asked her mother “Why dont these people have electricity?

” Very confused the mother said, “Wut are u talking about?

” The girl quickly replied, “Well, the sign back there said NO OUTLET!”

One day, two guys were driving t…

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One day, two guys were driving to a local grocery store to get some food. On the way to the store they ran into an intersection with a stoplight. The light showed red.The man driving went right through the red light. The passenger looked at the driver and screamed, “What the heck are you doing?

You’re going to get us killed!”Then the driver responded, “Don’t worry, my mother allways drives like this.”So later on, the two guys came to another stoplight and that too was red. The driver sped right through the light. Again the passenger looked at the driver and said, “I thought I told you, you’re gonna get us killed! Would you please stop this nonsense!”The driver looked at the passenger and responded, “I get it! But like I told already, you my mother drives like this all the time!” Again, the two guys ran into another light. This time in was green. The driver slammed on his brakes and stopped the car completely. “What the hell are you doing?

” The passenger screamed. “This is the third time you almost got us killed. Why did you stop at a green light?

“The driver replied, “That’s my mom’s car coming over there!”

One day, two guys Joe and Bob we…

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One day, two guys Joe and Bob were out fishing. A funeral service passes over the bridge they’re fishing by, and Bob takes off his hat and puts it over his heart. He does this until the funeral service passes by.Joe then said “Gee Bob, I didn’t know you had it in you!”Bob then replies ” It’s the least I could do. After all I was married to her for 30 years.”

One day, the wife comes home wit…

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One day, the wife comes home with a spectacular diamond ring. “Where did you get that ring?

” her husband asks. “Well, she replies, “my boss and I played the lotto and we won, so I bought it with my share of the winnings. A week later, his wife comes home with a long shiny fur coat. “Where did you get that coat?

” her husband asks. She replies “My boss and played the lotto and we won again, so I bought it with my share of the winnings. Another week later, his wife comes home, driving in a red Ferrari. “Where did you get that car?

” her husband asks. Again she repeats the same story about the lotto and her share of the winnings. That night, his wife asks him to pour her a nice warm bath while she gets undressed. When she enters the bathroom, she find that there is barely enough water in the bath to cover the plug at the far end. “And this?

” she asks her husband. ” Well,” he replies, “we don’t want to get your lotto ticket wet, do we?

!”

One day, little Mikey comes home…

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One day, little Mikey comes home from kindergarten for lunch. Not finding his mother in the kitchen, or the living room, he heads upstairs to check her bedroom. He opens the door, and what does he see, but his father, who had also come home for lunch, stripped naked, on top of his mother, also naked, heavily into the act of lovemaking. Not wanting to traumatize the boy, the parents continue as if nothing was wrong. Mikey watches, and after a couple of minutes asks, “Daddy, can I climb on and have a horsy ride?

” “Of course, Son, we’re a family.” So Mikey climbs on and after a few more minutes his mother starts moaning and writhing wildly. “Hang on Dad!”, cries Mikey, “this is where me and the mailman usually fall off!”