OUESTION: What is cosmetics?
ANSWER: Cosmetics is a woman’s means for keeping a man from reading between the lines.
OUESTION: What is cosmetics? ANS…
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Author Archives: lennart
Osama bin Laden threatened Russi…
Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war… I’ll hide from you too!
Optimist: A college student who …
Optimist: A college student who opens his wallet and expects to find money.
Only in America do we chain $2.0…
Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58,000 cars out in the driveway.
One woodworm met another. “How’s…
One woodworm met another. “How’s life?
” she asked. “Oh, same as usual,” he replied, “boring.”
Papa, why is it that dentists ca…
Papa, why is it that dentists call their offices dental parlors?
“”Because they are drawing-rooms, my son.”
Pain and Sorryby Anne Guish…
Pain and Sorryby Anne Guish
Paddy was trapped in a bog and s…
Paddy was trapped in a bog and seemed a goner when Big Mick O’Reilly wandered by. “Help!” Paddy shouted, “Oi’m sinkin’!” Don’t worry,” assured Mick. “Next to the Strong Muldoon, Oi’m the strongest man in Erin, and Oi’ll pull ye right out o’ there.” Mick leaned out and grabbed Paddy’s hand and pulled and pulled to no avail. After two more unsuccessful attempts, Mick said to Paddy, “Shure, an’ Oi can’t do it. The Strong Muldoon could do it alone, mebbe, but Oi’ll have to get some help.” As Mick was leaving, Paddy called “Mick! Mick! D’ye think it will help if Oi pull me feet out of the stirrups?
“
Paddy ‘n’ Mick join the army, an…
Paddy ‘n’ Mick join the army, and are put on street patrol in a city with a military curfew. They are given instructions to shoot anybody who’s on the streets after 6 o’clock. So one day, they’re out at twenty to 6, when Paddy spots a man walking on the other side of the street. He lines up the man in his sights and shoots the man dead. Mick is shocked. “What are you doin’, Paddy?
It ain’t 6 yet!” “I know what I’m doin’. I know where he lives and he wouldn’t have made it!”
Pa’s being chased by a bull! Wel…
Pa’s being chased by a bull! Well, what in tarnation do you want me to do about it?
Get me some film for my camera!