Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places?
Vanderkron: I wouldn’t go to these places no more!
Personnel Director: What would you do if you broke your arm in two places?
Vanderkron: I wouldn’t go to these places no more!
Personally, I like to stay and read the credits. When the last scene of Titanic faded to black and people began rushing for the exits, I shouted: “Quick! There are only enough cars in the parking lot for half of us!”
Personally I think one of the greatest things about marriage is thatas both husband and Father, I can say anything I want to around thehouse.Of course, no one pays the least bit of attention.
Person 1: It must be terrible for an opera singer to realize that he can never sing again.Person 2: Yes, but it’s much more terrible if he doesn’t realize it.
Perhaps you know why women over fifty don’t have babies.They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either being made.
People keep telling me I’m beautiful. What vivid imaginations some people have.
Peg-Leg Baldy A bald man with a peg leg gets invited to a costume party. Being shy and self-conscious about his appearance, he goes to the best costume shop in town. When he gets there, he tells the shop owner his situation and that he would rather cover his head and leg with a costume instead instead of exploiting his apparent problems. So, the shop owner comes back with a lifeguard costume. The man says, “No, no. That will show off my peg leg. I can’t hide it with that. Try again.” So the shop owner leaves and comes back with a monk costume And again the man says, “No, no. I can’t wear that. It will make people notice my head.” Obviously pissed off, the shop owner leaves and comes back with a five-pound bag of caramels, gives it to the man and says, “Here. Just take this.” Confused, the man says, “What am I suposed to do with a bag of caramels?
” Smiling, the shop owner says, “Take home this bag of caramels, melt them, pour it all over your body, stick that peg leg up your ass and tell everyone you’re a caramel apple.”
Peek-a-Boo! by I. C. Hugh
PE Teacher: Why did you kick that ball straight at the school computer?
Pupil: You told me to put it in the Net.