Paul says to Jesus, “Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?
“Jesus says, “Just hanging around.”
Paul says to Jesus, “Hey man, whatcha doing for Passover?
“Jesus says, “Just hanging around.”
Paul got off the elevator on the 40th floor and nervously knocked on his blind date’s door. She opened it and was as beautiful and charming as everyone had said. “I’ll be ready in a few minutes,” she said. “Why don’t you play with Rollo while you’re waiting?
He does wonderful tricks. He rolls over, shakes hands, sits up, and if you make a hoop with your arms, he’ll jump through.” The dog followed Paul onto the balcony and started rolling over. Paul made a hoop with his arms and Rollo jumped through — and over the balcony railing. Just then Paul’s date walked out. “Isn’t Rollo the cutest, happiest dog you’ve ever seen?
” “To tell the the truth,” he replied, “he seemed a little depressed to me.”
Patron: Waiter, why is there a spider in my glass?
Waiter: It scares away the flies.
Patron: This bread is stale.Waiter: It wasn’t last week.
Patron: How come this fly is swimming in my soup?
Waiter: I gave you too much. It should be wading.
Patron: Hey, there’s a fly in my soup!Waiter: Why are you complaining?
Isn’t it cooked?
Patron: Didn’t you tell me the chef here cooked for the late heads of Europe?
Waiter: Yes, and that’s why they are the late heads of Europe.
Patron 1: I eat at a different restaurant every day.Patron 2: I don’t tip, either.
Peter: My brother wants to work badly!Anita: As I remember, he usually does !
Peter Ludwig, a caver from Austria who is appalled by American drivinghabits, offers the following advice:The probability of being involved in a traffic accident is directlyproportional to time spent on the road. Driving fast decreases one’sexposure.One third of traffic accidents are caused by drunk drivers; two thirdsare caused by non-drunk drivers.Therefore, the safest way to drive is drunk and VERY fast.