Policeman: I’ve had my eye on you for some time now.Young Lady: That’s funny. I thought you were arresting me for speeding.

Policeman: I suppose you’re going to tell me you weren’t speeding.Motorist: I was speeding all right, but I was testing you to see if you were paying attention.

Policeman: How can you say you don’t have any outstanding tickets?

Driver: They’re all in the glove compartment.

Policeman: How can you drive so recklessly?

Driver: I have to, this is a getaway car.

Policeman: Do you know how fast you were going?

Motorist: No, you’re the one with the radar.

Policeman: Didn’t you see the signs with the speed limit?

Driver: I thought they were just suggestions.

Policeman: Didn’t you see that stop sign?

Driver: I keep my eyes closed in traffic.

Policeman: Didn’t you see my lights flashing?

Motorist: No, I was going faster than the speed of light.

Policeman: Didn’t you hear my siren?

Motorist: Sure, that’s why I sped up.