Taxiing down the tarmac, the jetliner abruptly stopped, turned around and returned to the gate. After an hour-long wait, it finally took off. A concerned passenger asked the flight attendant, “What was the problem?
” “The pilot was bothered by a noise he heard in the engine,” explained the flight attendant, “and it took us a while to find a new pilot.”
Tarzan was tired when he came home.”What have you been doing”, asked Jane.”Chasing a herd of elephants on vines””Really ?
“, said Jane. “I thought elephants stayed on the ground !”
Tape Recording for Beginners by Cass Ette
Taming Wild Cats by Claude Face
Talbot and his son James were called to Mrs. Cren-shaw’s classroom. “Mr. Talbot,” said the teacher, “I asked James ‘Who shot Abraham Lincoln?
‘ and he said that he didn’t do it!” “Well, teacher,” said Talbot, “if my kid said he didn’t do it he didn’t do it!” Father and son left the school, and on their way home Talbot turned to the boy and asked, “Tell me, son, did you do it?
” ‘
Taking his seat in his chambers, the judge faced the opposing lawyers. “So,” he said, “I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe.” Both lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “You, attorney Leon, gave me $15,000. And you, attorney Campos, gave me $10,000.”The judge reached into his pocket and pulled out a check. He handed it to Leon … “Now then, I’m returning $5,000, and we’re going to decide this case solely on its merits.”
Teacher : Tommy you try my patience !Tommy: No, teacher you had better try mine. There’s more of it !
Teacher : The word politics – can you give me an example of how to use it ?
Pupil : My parrot swallowed a watch and now Polly ticks !
Teacher : Make up a sentence using the word lettuce !Pupil : Let us out of school early !
Teacher : In the exam you will be allowed 30 minutes for each question.Pupil : How long for the answer sir !