Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you’ve only drawn the cow?

Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

Teacher: I hope I didn’t see you looking at Fred’s test paper.Pupil: I hope you didn’t see me either!

Teacher: How much is half of 8Pupil: Up and down or across ?

Teacher: What do you mean ?

Pupil: Well,up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0

Teacher: How much is half of 8?

Pupil: Up and down or across?

Teacher: What do you mean?

Pupil: Well, up and down makes a 3 or across the middle leaves a 0!

Teacher: How can you make so many mistakes in just one day ?

Pupil: I get up early !

Teacher: If you have five haystacks in one corner, five in another and two in another, how many would you have ?

Pupil: One big haystack !

Teacher: If I lay one egg here and another there, how many eggs will there be?

Fred: None!Fred (surprised): Why not?

Fred: Because you can’t lay eggs!